Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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