I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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