idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
