Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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