I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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