Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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