Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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