two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
