is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
