So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
