Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
