when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
