It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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