I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
