I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
