if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
