That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
