its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
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