As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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