Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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