Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
