I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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