i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
