You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
