If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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