I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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