i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
