Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
there was a trapeze. enough said
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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