then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
