I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
