stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
