Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
