you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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