I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
