Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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