Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
