Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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