Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
