Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
