I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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