do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
