We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
