first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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