i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
