I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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