Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
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Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
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Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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