Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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