Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
