We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
