:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize