i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
