I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
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