Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
