So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
