Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
