apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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