Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He felt like a one man threesome
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
