A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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