2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
